At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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