As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
