I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize