Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
That accounts for only three of the penises
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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