Sponge bath it is.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
