Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
