It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
