sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
