mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
