Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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