well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
