You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
