i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
