i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
