Screwed.edu
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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