I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Randomize
