Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
