no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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