new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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