I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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