Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
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