So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize