He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
