he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
