i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
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