Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
