Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
