I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
