Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
