Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
