her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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