You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
