Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
