Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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