I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
