She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
