just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
