I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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