We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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