You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
