Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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