didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
