I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
