i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
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