i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
