Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
