ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
