During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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