i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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