Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
