im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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