If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
