I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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