I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
