So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
