Three words: puerto rican gang bang
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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