I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
