two words: eviction party
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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