North Korea, Best Korea!
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
should my penis look like a turkey
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
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