i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
