Plan B is the new Plan A
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I need to calm my uterus...
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
